By Wayne E. Rivet

Staff Writer

SEBAGO — Lori Cohoon’s dream to adopt a child from Africa is close to becoming a reality.

There is just one real hurdle to clear — raising $21,500 needed to complete the process. The family and friends will be hosting a benefit spaghetti supper this Saturday, Nov. 4 at 5:30 p.m. at the Sebago Nazarene Church. There will also be an auction.

“We had always discussed adoption, but we ended up with a large family of five children, and our careers began to progress, so it just became a dream we once had. Then, in 2019, I suffered a brain injury that kept me from going back to work. Like many families that have adopted, adoption came back up again because of a dream I had one night,” Lori said. “God came to me and asked me to care for one of His children. I shared this dream with my husband, David, and we prayed about it. We asked God to give us more signs if this was His will, and He came back at us tenfold. Eventually, we started researching to see if disabled parents would even be allowed to adopt.”

When the couple found that it was a possibility, they decided to discuss it with Lori’s doctor.

“After sharing that we did not intend to adopt a baby but an older child in need of a family, we were given his blessing to pursue the adoption. So, we began our adoption process in early 2021, and at the time, we had no idea what the process looked like,” she said. “We researched so many things: countries we would be allowed to adopt from, cultures we could commit to preserving, and the trauma that comes as part of adoption, regardless of where that child comes from and what age they are when they are adopted.”

The couple chose Burundi, Africa, a country located in the “Lakes Region” of Africa. Burundi is primarily rural, like their town of Sebago — mountains and valleys, and it is a farming country with some of the world’s best and least-known coffee. Burundi borders Lake Tanganyika (pronounced Lake Tang-gah-nee-kah), the deepest and oldest lake in Africa. The lake has 700 fish species and holds 17% of the globe’s fresh water. The country is shaped like a biological heart called the “Heart of Africa.”

“Adopting is such a long process, so while you go through the steps of home studies, background checks, and immigration paperwork, life goes on. For us, this waiting process was filled with some easy obstacles; we had to get documents certified from states nationwide, including Florida, Maine, Tennessee, and Colorado,” Lori said. “We have been fingerprinted more times than I can count. We have had background checks done by local agencies, Florida agencies, the F.B.I., and the Department of Homeland Security.”

The more challenging obstacles to overcome were personal. Lori’s dad suffered a stroke in mid-2021, and then he passed away in 2022, “so the emotions of that were compounded with the stream of emotions that go along with every step of the adoption process,” she said. “We moved on in the process, knowing that this little one would never meet my dad, their grandpa.”

 The process of International adoption is different from domestic. In Burundi, they have match meetings, where the sister agencies of the U.S. agencies represent the waiting families at a meeting with Burundian officials. The number of children matched can be just a handful or many. Match meetings only occur a couple of times a year if things are going smoothly. Once families know a meeting has occurred, they wait desperately, hoping for the call or the e-mail.

“For us, each time had been ‘sorry,’ you haven’t been matched. Those days of waiting to hear are emotionally draining, but still hopeful until you get the bad news. Then, it’s emotionally exhausting in a different way,” Lori said. “We had known that a match meeting had occurred this past spring, but we were not matched. We moved on, praying that there would be another match before the end of the year. But then, out of left field, we got a message from our agency informing us that they had a waiting child, and we were interested? Of course, we were, as were a couple other families.”

So, the couple started the process of getting a medical report from an international adoption specialist based on very little data.

“We decided, regardless of any medical concerns, there were a few and told our agency we wanted to proceed. Then, the agency had to determine which family would be matched. They ultimately decided, based on who had been waiting the longest, that it would be us. But it still needed to be formal as the Burundian government had to approve us, which they did,” she said. “The emotional rollercoaster from hearing that a child needs a family to be chosen by our agency to being approved by the Burundian Central Authority is indescribable. The number of tears of joy at each step, the butterflies in our stomachs as we waited for each approval. Even the anxiety as we realized we needed to raise funds to make the most significant payment seems so profoundly deep that it is hard to put into words. We continue this journey with absolute faith as we begin waiting for our little one to be ready to come home to us. The governments of Burundi and the U.S. have to finalize all of the documents, and then we will be allowed to travel to Burundi to meet and bring home our child.”

Lori noted that she is able to share very little about this “fantastic little girl until she is in our arms.” She will be five years old when the couple bring her home.

“She is like a beautiful and tiny blackbird. Although she will be five when she comes home, she is more like the size of a young toddler. We hope that when we get her home and provide her with proper nutrition like a blackbird, she will soar. While I cannot share her name, I can tell you that it means ‘second chance,’” Lori added.

The benefit supper includes spaghetti, tossed salad, rolls and a brownie for dessert. The cost $12 per adult and children ages 13-plus, $6 for children ages 6-12, and children under 6 will eat for free. A “group of amazing people” volunteered to help the family put on the event. “We have been blessed with donations for our auction from friends, family, and absolute strangers. Contributions include handmade gifts, a guided canoe trip, and even a night in a suite at the Greenwood Manor,” Lori added. 

The entire Cohoon story can be found on their website: https://cohoonadoption.org/Story.