My Irish Up: Anagrams in the news

Mike Corrigan

Mike Corrigan

By Mike Corrigan

BN Columnist

The big scandals last week concerned the Miami Dolphins’ super-hazing incident, where a player quit the team under an onslaught of threats and racial innuendo from a large and threatening steroidal-life form named Richie Incognito; and 60 Minutes’ botching of the Benghazi “story,” which was so off-base it rated an in-air apology the following Sunday night, Nov. 10.

One incident may throw light on the other. After all, Benghazi = Be Hazing. Congress certainly enjoys hazing just about anybody. The august body held hearings earlier this year to get to the bottom of the Benghazi attacks, hoping to pin blame on the administration and satisfy conspiracy theorists. They turned back, though, when they found the finger of blame pointing at… Congress. As usual. The administration had asked for $300 million more to strengthen embassy security around the world. No soap. Congress never spends money that doesn't directly subsidize American big business. But, it sure does like to blame other people for its own failures.

How about this one? President Obama had Osama Bin-Laden killed, right? (Seal Team Six = Lax Aims Set. No wait, that’s Benghazi again!) Could it be that the president’s subsequent criminal disregard for the safety and right to life of bystanders during his illegal drone attacks on foreign populations represent an attempt to assuage his own guilt under the eyes of God? After all, Osama Bin-Laden = Obama, Sin-Laden. Democrats, Republicans — when the United States stops terrorizing poor countries, poor countries will produce fewer terrorists.

I believe Eric Snowden brought to light a lot of secret programs and cavalier attitudes about our supposed Constitutional rights to privacy and due process. These programs should be talked about, especially by Congress and the American people. Should we be spying on foreign-ally heads of state? Should all of our phone and Internet records and conversations be scooped up, without prior cause? On the other hand, Snowden is still hiding out in Russia, pleading that he be granted clemency. Very little has changed, or promises to. We are still building super-police state capabilities. So, the upshot of the young man’s “brave” reveal? Eric Snowden = Ends in cower.

In happier news, the Boston Red Sox won their eighth World Championship last week! The bad news was, it took them the equivalent of eight postseasons to get it done. The Red Sox’ idea of a rally is two twenty-pitch walks, a well-placed bloop and a pitching change. Any game lasting under four hours hasn’t been over-thought enough. We in New England loved it, of course. The team was lovable, professional, gutsy and talented; but some of their games were so long even players who didn’t start with beards looked like Grizzly Adams by the middle innings. Outside New England, the long, long, long games may have killed baseball for good. Boston Red Sox = Sox bored tons. Or might a more appropriate anagram be, Robed nox toss? No wait, that’s probably Benghazi again.

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