Family completes final chapter of Mary’s legacy — a Christmas adventure

Mary Shepherd

By Wayne E. Rivet

Staff Writer

Mary Shepherd always had a special place in her heart for children.

She spent her working career taking care of sick children as a pediatric nurse. Coming out of nursing school, Mary had three internship choices — neonatal, pediatric or intensive care. She chose pediatrics, and never gave the other two specialties a closer look.

When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, Mary eventually was forced to give up a job she loved for 23 years as treatment ravaged her body.

Yet, the love for children never faltered.

As Mary slowly lost her ability to fight back against a foe that tried but failed to dictate her life for 20 years, she had the will and support of family to leave one lasting gift — a children’s book, Hugzbie’s Christmas Adventure.

About the story... “Hugzbie’s Christmas Adventure” 32 Pages Written by Mary M. Shepherd Illustrated by Lorraine Dey “Oh my! What an unexpected adventure for Hugzbie, the curious little hedgehog, one that would take him far from his quiet country home near a Christmas tree farm to the center of a very big city full of excitement. Hugzbie learns the meaning of friendship and most of all a deep appreciation for his own dear family.”
Cost Hardcover $24 (limited first printing, 250 available through the website at hugzbie.com); softcover $15 Where to purchase: Bridgton Books, White Birch Books in North Conway, N.H., Conway Scenic Railroad train station, Zeb’s General Store in North Conway and Eaton Village Store in Eaton Center, N.H. Online: Book Baby, now available; Amazon, Books-A-Million, Barnes & Noble on Dec. 7 All proceeds will go to St Jude’s Children's Hospital.
About the Author The following was written by author Mary Shepherd, who passed away in June 2019: My name is Mary Shepherd, I have worked with children almost my whole life. From babysitting, to nursing school and then straight to the pediatric intensive care unit in 1981 as an RN at age 19. I loved every minute caring for children. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999 and went through surgery and chemotherapy and continued to work. I decided to stop work in 2004 to be home with my children with plans to go back; however, God had a different plan for me. I was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer in 2006, even with that I had plans to go back to work. As time moved forward, I realized that the ever-changing treatment and scans would not allow that to happen. After my children were old enough to fend for themselves, I still wanted to make a difference in children’s lives so I decided to write a children’s story with proceeds to go to nonprofit children’s hospitals. It was the perfect solution. I could work on it during days I felt good and put it down when I didn’t. It is my deepest hope that the book will bring a smile to the children’s faces and the proceeds will continue to help support children’s hospitals. “Although Mary will not be able to see the final book in person, we know that she is looking at it from heaven and would very much like what she sees,” Mary’s family wrote.

A first-time writer, Mary hoped to put smiles on the faces of little ones as they embark on an exciting adventure with a new friend, Hugzbie — a cute hedgehog, who leaves his country home for the big city.

“While she battled cancer, she looked for any opportunity to continue to help children. She decided to write a book. Her wishes were that the book would bring smiles to children’s faces and money for medical care at nonprofit hospitals,” said family member Terri Mahanor.

Mary died this past June. She was 57.

Now, her family is putting the finishing touches on Mary’s legacy. Hugzbie’s Christmas Adventure is available at area book stores and online. All proceeds will benefit St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital.

Although Mary was unable to see the “finished” product before her death — she did see a sample book as the illustrator continued to work on colored drawings — her mother, Marilyn, knows she would be proud of what she accomplished.

“She was very picky as to what she wanted it to be,” Marilyn said. “We would confer a lot on the phone how it was going. She would have certain questions, which I tried to answer. “Mary had an enormous sense of humor. I think she expected the story to be completed before she died. She knew we would carry it on.”

Finishing Mary’s work has been a family effort. Terri has handled the publishing aspects, while Marilyn plans to read chapters at local library Story Hours. Her first date is Dec. 3, in Naples, followed by a reading at the Bridgton Public Library on Dec. 6. She will also make stops to Denmark, Brownfield and Conway, N.H.

Marilyn won’t travel alone. She created a basket lined with red berries, and nestled inside are Hugzbie, along with his mom, Honey, and the twins — all featured in the book.

Help others, be happy

Mary always wanted to help others rather than focus on herself.

So, it was no surprise to her mother that Mary followed in her footsteps — she became a nurse.

“Mary was special,” Marilyn said. “She was very young, but she knew what she wanted to do.”

Mary and husband, Virgil

At the age of 19, she graduated from Vermont College after completing the two-year nursing program. She passed her state boards, and accepted an internship at Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Fla.

“She loved it there. They offered her three different areas — neonatal intensive care, pediatric intensive care or intensive care. She started with pediatrics, and she didn’t even want to look at the others. She always enjoyed being with the children and taking care of them,” Marilyn said.

Mary moved on to a children’s hospital in Atlanta. There, she met her husband, Virgil.

Later, she became a trauma coordinator and initiated the Life Flight program.

Living in Loganville, Ga., the couple looked forward to trips to Maine, where they spent time at Marilyn and Bob’s isolated camp on Little Moose Pond. Virgil fell in love with the region, and ultimately, the couple bought land on Christian Hill Road in Lovell. The plan was to build their retirement home there.

Cancer changed everything.

Mary was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 39. A friend had a biopsy for breast cancer and tests came back negative.

“It occurred to me that I had not been back to the doctors since my son was born two years prior, nor had I done a self-breast exam. I made a mental note to do a self-exam. As most women are, I was a working mother with two children and life was busy. The following week just before we left for vacation I was in the shower and I remembered to do a self-exam…much to my surprise I felt a lump that was the size of my thumb in my right breast,” wrote Mary in a letter she entitled, “Living Happy With Stage IV.”

She “whipped back the shower curtain” and asked her husband to check what she had found.

“Being a nurse, I knew what this could mean but I hoped for a fiber cyst and made an appointment with my OB-GYN the day we got back from vacation. The ultrasound of my breast was said to be ‘concerning’…the other ‘C’ word I came to dread... and the biopsy proved to be invasive lobular carcinoma,” she wrote.

Mary and son, Daniel

Cancer.

She learned about the diagnosis at work. First, she was in shock. Then, she cried for 10 minutes. She knew what the path ahead of her looked like — chemo and loss of hair; mastectomy and reconstruction, and more chemotherapy.

“I had great support from my husband, my mother who stayed with me after surgery, and other family and friends. My faith served me so well and it still does today. I can’t imagine going through something like this without faith, family and friends!” she wrote.

Seven years passed.

Mary then started to experience back pain.

“I thought maybe it was from exercising, but it was relentless and would not go away,” she wrote.

Arthritis was the early diagnosis. Mary went through rehab, but after several months there was no improvement. She had an MRI.  

“I really didn’t think it was cancer until the morning of my appointment.  I was reading a book and a phrase from it stuck in my head, ‘In all things be thankful.’ I knew what I was in for,” Mary wrote.

Cancer had returned. Mary’s thoracic vertebra was crushed and she needed to have surgery to repair and strengthen it.

Mary had another fight on her hands.

“Guilt was not one of the emotions I was expecting to feel, but I did. I felt guilty for being the one to cause so much pain to my family and guilty that when I do die I will not be there to comfort them. Death itself does not scare me, but leaving my family does. I know where I will be and it will be more beautiful then we can imagine. I began to feel the importance of preparing my children through strengthening their faith. We openly talk about dying and the fact that we will see each other again. When you think about it, we are all terminal. No one lives forever. We could die in a car accident tomorrow, then how do we prepare? At least with a terminal diagnosis you have time to think things through and prepare,” Mary wrote.

Mary then had a moment that defined how she would live the time she had left.

“One night at 3 a.m. in the morning, after my husband finally fell asleep, I found myself sitting on the closet floor of our room crying for 15 minutes. I didn’t want to wake up my exhausted husband so it seemed like a good place to go,” she wrote. “All of a sudden, I realized that I am not getting those 15 minutes back and what a complete waste of time that was. It changed nothing except the fact I organized my shoes while I was down there. I decided right then that I was not going to worry anymore. God knows what he is doing and I should just continue to enjoy my life.”

Marilyn and Terri still marvel at the positive attitude and will Mary displayed, especially as death neared.

“All the while, she was so positive and so strong that everyone couldn’t believe how well she managed with what she was going through to a point that her children were so young when she had this, in my own mind I wondered did they realize just how devastating this was. They expected her to go on forever, just being treated for cancer. It would never end. It was very difficult for the family,” Marilyn said. “So many treatments stole Mary’s energy. She couldn’t continue to work, so she decided it might be nice to write a children’s story. She could pick it up and work on it whenever she felt up to it.”

Virgil and Mary look at preliminary illustrations. Mary passed away before seeing the finished product.

Mary had a little hedgehog figurine, and she decided the cute critter would be her lead character.

Enter Hugzbie.

“We all worked together. Mary set it all up. She knew what she wanted. Because of the brain cancer, she struggled sometimes. She knew that, and she turned more over to mom (for editing). She knew she needed more support, and she knew where she could get help,” Terri said. “Everyone has played a part.”

Mary did her part, finishing the story before cancer ultimately won the war.

Knowing Mary’s health was failing, the family kept in frequent contact with illustrator Lorraine Dey in hopes that the color renditions would be completed in time so Mary could see the book as a finished product.

“Mary always understood everyone. She would never find fault with anyone,” Terri said.

As time went on, it was harder for Mary to assert herself. Marilyn said there was so much going on in terms of treatment and dealing with complications due to radiation to her brain. Mary lost hearing in one ear. She had a detached retina in her eye. In addition to the ongoing chemotherapy, “it just became overwhelming in the end,” her mother said.

“Near the end when Mary was struggling to try get better, she always had the positive attitude that she would pull through. She was so focused on that. She turned the book over to the rest of us. We would give her updates. She had it all laid out, we just had to listen to her,” Terri said. “I know she is looking down on us. I know she is here.”

While in the hospital, Mary and Virgil had a chance to flip through the pages of a sample book.

Her passing has left a huge void for family and friends.

“At her funeral, her friends talked about how Mary prepared them for her death. They would go out and do things, then have conversations that when Mary died, things she wanted to happen. She didn’t spend time feeling sorry for herself. She felt, ‘I have this much time and I plan to live every single moment of it happily.’ On day I called her, she had been out shopping, despite pain from kidney stones, reactions from her meds, and cracks on her feet that were bleeding. How are you doing? I’m doing great, it’s a beautiful day,” Terri said.

“She influenced so many people in a positive way,” Marilyn added. “She is truly missed.”

The family has been thrilled by the initial reaction to Hugzbie’s Christmas Adventure. And, Hugzbie may return.

“Mary did have an idea for another book. We’ll see what happens. When she was in rehabilitation center before she came home and went into hospice, unbeknownst to her, we videotaped her and she gave us the storyline for another story. She wants this story to happen at an apple orchard somewhere in Maine. Hugzbie and his little friends…and he may find a girlfriend,” Terri said.

Mary’s life ended too soon, but her example and words will live on.

“She always reached out. I’ve never met anyone like that before. It’s why it is all wonderful to see this book carrying her spirit on,” Terri said.

In her letter, Mary gives everyone something to think about, “Life has definitely been a rollercoaster of emotions. The chemotherapy works for a while then it stops, then the new treatment works then it stops. There are only so many minutes we all have to live, so don’t waste them worrying about the things you can’t change. Enjoy all the precious moments in life. Keep God in your heart and he will give you peace. Through faith, there is no fear. One does not believe so they will not be afraid but rather through believing you are gifted with no fear. I know where I will be and I will be happy, through God’s promise we will see loved ones again, so don’t waste time worrying or being sad. Enjoy the little things in life, be patient and kind…be happy.”

Hugzbie, Mary hoped, will bring a little happiness to a child’s (maybe even an adult’s) life.

Mary is survived by her husband Virgil; her daughter, Sarah; son, Daniel; step-daughter, Stephanie Shone; two grandsons; her mother-in-law, Janet Shepherd; her parents Bob and Marilyn Mahanor; her siblings, Mike and Terri Mahanor, Joe and Nadia Mahanor and Tali Mahanor; and many aunts, uncles and cousins who were a big part of her life. She is interred at the North Bridgton Cemetery.