Mike Corrigan

By Michael T. Corrigan

BN Columnist

Despite their insistence that campaigns are already too long, the media continues to press Hillary Clinton on whether she will run for president, more than two years from now.

“How should I know?” Mrs. Clinton said last week. “At my age, I may not even be alive in 2016. The way things are going, no one else may be either.”

The press considers this “playing it coy.”

LePage will not run

for President in 2016

NEW YORK — Even though he is, like everyone else, “not a candidate,” Maine Gov. Paul LePage leads the latest (7:43 p.m. last night) GOP presidential preference poll.

The Republican field is regarded as “wide open,” since, observers insist, “any Republican not actually under active indictment could win this thing.”

Pollster Louis “The Numbers” Giollotti told reporters last week that despite LePage’s tendency to shoot himself in the foot every time he opens his mouth, and sometimes even just after he closes it, LePage’s popularity with voters is “holding steady,” perhaps due to the fact, Giollotti said, that “LePage has not actually been brought up on charges for anything.”

Maine’s governor, though, laughed when asked if he was a candidate. “I wouldn’t go within a thousand miles of that #$@%$ &#*%&$ dump,” LePage said, with characteristic good humor.

Nevertheless, LePage was preferred by 2% of registered voters in the Aug. 16 presidential preference poll, edging New Jersey Governor and professional racketeer Chris Christie (1.8%), Texas Governor and amateur racketeer Rick Perry (1.7%), Rick Santorum (1.5%), “either Ron Paul or Paul Ryan, I get the two mixed up” (1.4%), Harold Stassen (1.3%), and Wisconsin Governor and friend of labor Scott Walker (1.0%). Undecided: 24.6%. Ronald Reagan, 64.7%.

Two out of three polled say

they can’t be bothered

In poll results that surprised no one, 68% of eligible voters say they wish they weren’t. Eligible, that is.

Asked why they seem more apathetic than ever, those polled responded:

• Whoever’s elected will just do what they want, anyway: 52%
• I never vote, I might miss the game: 9%
• $#%^$&**^: 9%
• On psychotropic drugs: 21%
• Need more coffee: 9%

Corrigan won’t run for governor

LEWISTON — Despite being pressed by friends, or technically, by a friend, or even more technically, by a close relative, to make a run for the Blaine House when Paul LePage goes off to Washington in 2016, Mike Corrigan of Lewiston said today that he is “not a candidate” for governor. He added, “Even were I a candidate, I could not commit myself at this time, as that is a Tuesday.” Corrigan hinted, however, that he “might accept” the nomination for vice president in a Hillary Clinton administration. “Despite the fact that nine out of 10 Americans are reported to be making the big bucks, someone should represent those Americans who have a net worth of under a hundred million dollars,” he explained. “That won’t be whichever Republican runs, or Hillary.”